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CMA Foundation · Fundamentals of Business Laws and Business Communication · Writing and Drafting for Business Audiences

Ravi Traders writes to a customer: 'You failed to follow the instructions, so your claim is rejected.' Which revision best reflects the 'you-attitude' and a positive tone?

The best revision is that the claim can be processed once the enclosed form is completed and returned. It addresses the reader's needs, tells them the action to take, and avoids blame or negative wording, which is the essence of a positive, you-attitude tone.

  1. A'Your claim is rejected because you were careless.'
  2. B'We reject the claim as our policy does not allow it.'
  3. C'Your claim can be processed once the enclosed form is completed and returned to us.'Correct
  4. D'Claims like yours are always rejected by us.'

Explanation

The third option focuses on what the reader can do and the benefit to them, in a positive, non-accusatory tone. The others blame the reader or are negative and company-centred.

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